Have you ever tried 
To imagine what my
Shoes feel like?
Never in one spot.
Always moving.
Cities.
States.
They get heavy,
Filled with the weight
Of wanting.
Wanting consistency.
Confidence
The wanting 
Of silently begging
To be noticed. 
I drag my feet to
Get where I'm going.
It's slow.
But I get there. 
There's scuff marks
But there's no tear.

Have you ever tried
To imagine what my shoes 
Feel like?
Always missing the big things
To look at faces and floors
That don't look back.
Wishing you could be
Somewhere else
But you can't be mad 
Because YOU made your feet
Move.
YOU chose this. 

Have you ever tried
To imagine what my 
Shoes feel like?
If you have,
Could you tell me
How to make them
Lighter?

It’s all that we have
When I’m gone.
I don’t even want to use it
When I’m home.

I keep it close to me
Like I would keep you
Close to me
If I could touch your hand.

I fall asleep holding it
As if it is the only thing
Connecting us.
Because it is.

One day,
Maybe we won’t
Have to live
This way.

One day,
I will never have to
Fall asleep holding
Something that’s not you.

Today's random word is: Automatic 

Before I met you, 
Connections felt like disconnect
From myself, 
From who I wanted to be,  
From what I already was. 


I was nervous to meet you. 
Scared it would be like e
Every past experience, 
Every past heartache, 
Every other time I lost myself. 


But then I saw you. 
It was automatic
Everything felt connected. 
Genuine. 
Authentic. 


I didn’t have to be someone I wasn’t. 
I didn’t have to to want things I didn’t. 
I didn’t have to mask my quirks and imperfections. 
Because you already accepted them.


I didn’t love you at first sight
But I knew at first sight
That I would love you.
It was automatic. 


Just like I touch your shoulder
As I walk by you in the kitchen now. 
Automatic.


Just like kissing you
Before I leave in the mornings now. 
Automatic.
​

Just like reaching for your hand
When we walk down the sidewalk now. 
Automatic.

The random word generator chose: Apple

I have to admit, this one was a little more difficult because I was trying to find a way to write about an apple but not make it sound like a kid’s book. So, I went went the perspective of writing from an apple’s point of view.

Today's random word generator chose: Freedom

We're supposed to have able to have it;
We don't.
In the land of the free,
We are not.
If you fall into one of the colors
Of the Rainbow, 
There is none.
We have to hide our colors
To exist peacefully. 
We scream 
Just so we can hold someone's hand in public. 
We are not violent in our core, 
But we fight just to exist. 
Only recently could we marry
The one we love. 
We are stared at.
Criticised.
Judged.
Hated. 
Some of us are afraid 
To speak about it. 
Everyone is supposed to have it.
So. Many. Do. Not. 

​Freedom.

This time I decided to use a random word generator to help me focus on a topic. It chose "Rule."

It was a rule.
It was unspoken.
You only kiss boys,
You gossip with girls.

It was a rule.
It was unspoken.
You don't tattoo your body,
You draw on pieces of paper

It was a rule.
It was unspoken.
You agree with your mouth open,
You disagree behind your teeth.

It was a rule.
It was unspoken.
You don't do what you want,
You abandon yourself and do what others want.

All of these rules.
All of them unspoken.
Nobody ever told me
Rules were meant to be broken.

Attention must be expensive 
Because you never pay me any.
I could watch you for hours
But you would never see me.


Attention must be expensive
Because I have none.
I may as well be a ghost
haunting your halls. 


I make a sound, 
Your eyes look in my direction,
But they never linger.


I could break a glass,
Punch a wall, 
But you would look through me
Like wet paper.